Together, To Be
by Fangri-La
Summary: Kensi Blye and Marty Deeks have made the decision to leave NCIS, but one last mission could end their journey before it begins. A speculative fic, now complete
1. I Know to be there

_-Hello! first time ever posting here! I hope you enjoy this story, it's my first time publishing a piece of fanfiction! I am very excited (and nervous) to share it with you all.-_

_Without further ado, enjoy._

* * *

"_Okay." was Kensi's response._

_Deeks raised his eyebrows._

"_Okay?" He echoed, unsure of what 'okay' meant._

"_Okay, as in we're done. Done with NCIS, done with LAPD, all of it. We resign and find something new."_

* * *

Sheer agony was the first thing Marty Deeks could register as he awoke. One by one, his senses slowly came back to him. Through his blurry vision, he cursed as he found the source of his agony, his left leg was pinned down by a pile of rubble. Managing to pull it free, a rush of blinding pain roared up his leg. He hissed through his teeth and halted his movements, battling the darkness trying to engulf him. His head felt as if it were pulsing, and about to split in half. His leg throbbed mercilessly; ankle set at a crooked angle. His stomach lurched as he tried to remember what had gone so wrong.

The agents of OSP were called into a suspected arms dealing ring, where they had been chasing leads for weeks now. Finally, they caught a break in the case and found the hub of dealers. They had gone in tactical, Sam and Callen breaching one end while Kensi and Deeks breached the other. Another team of two NCIS agents had provided additional support outside of the warehouse. A brief firefight had ensued, but the leader had surrendered, dropping his weapon and kneeling to the ground. Deeks was just about to radio in their victory when a loud explosion went off, and the building began to come down around them. He had no recollection of the events after the explosion, but finally remembered that he hadn't brought down the leader alone.

Kensi. She was there too, only a few feet from him, her gun aimed at the leader. Where the hell was she?

"Kens?" Deeks rasped, voice hoarse. He looked to his left and saw the arms dealer, partially buried under the rubble. His eyes open and glazed over, and a jagged piece of metal impaled him in the neck. Bile rose into Deeks' throat, fearing the worst as he continued to look for Kensi.

"Kensi!" He shouted again, looking frantically for her. The building had collapsed around them but left them in a small haven delicately holding itself up. Deeks knew it was only a matter of time until their safe spot would fall apart as well, crushing them. His heart was beating so hard he could feel it reverberate throughout his body. Finally, he saw a familiar hand peeking from underneath a jagged fragment of sheet metal.

Without a doubt, it was Kensi. Her wedding band rested snug on her left ring finger, a discomforting amount of blood coated her hand. Deeks crawled over to her as fast as he could, his mangled leg serving only as dead weight. He grabbed the sheet metal and summoned what strength he had left to toss it to the side. Deeks took in a strangled breath.

Unconscious, Kensi was pinned on her side, remnants of the building restraining her from the torso down. Deeks could do nothing but release a whimpering cry as he found the pulse point in her neck. A pulse, faint but constant, beat against his fingertips and he took a deep breath. Wanting nothing more than to just rip her from the rubble and hold her close, years of training finally kicked in. He knew that she couldn't be moved, in fear of a more traumatic injury, and took the time to perform a half-assed assessment. Her left arm was mostly intact, but the right was swollen and discolored. A gash marred her bruised face, bleeding freely.

The more injuries Deeks found, the more panicked he became. By the end of it Deeks was beside himself and knew that he needed Kensi to be awake, to hear her voice, to hear her say that it was going to be okay. His only saving grace of keeping himself together was that he couldn't find any reason that she had no serious source of bleeding. Ever mindful, Deeks cupped her face and rubbed soft circles with his thumb, hoping to coax her awake.

"Kensi? C'mon Kens, please wake up." Nothing. He was met with no response, no sense of movement. His panic grew exponentially as the silence lingered.

"Please don't do this baby. I need you to wake up, I need you to tell me that I'm an idiot for worrying, or how I shouldn't have made fun of the bad guy's goatee. I can't do this without you" Deeks' voice was shaky and desperate, but it seemed to do the trick. Releasing a groan, her dark eyes finally opened.

"Deeks? What…" She whispered, her eyes cloudy and unfocused. Dread settled in Deeks' stomach as he realized she had suffered a concussion, another serious injury to add to the list. After a few moments, her eyes finally locked on to him.

"Deeks, what happ - oh my god!" her eyes suddenly grew wide and she reached out to him, only to yelp in pain as the rubble forced her still.

"Hey, hey baby it's okay. Don't move. Please don't move," Deeks whispered frantically, hoping to stop her from injuring herself further. Wide-eyed and panicked, Kensi began to calm as she took in her surroundings.

"Are you okay?" She croaked, taking in Deeks' battered form.

"I'm okay, my leg is just about useless, but other than that only a little roughed up. You?" His voice shook at the end of his question, knowing that no matter what she said, she was nowhere near 'okay'.

"Not great," Kensi scoffed honestly. "Though, to be fair, most people are terrible, if not dead, after an entire building lands on them. So, I'll take the win," she allowed a weary smile as she reached her left hand out, which Deeks took gratefully.

"I can work with 'not great'," he chuckled, needing her terrible sense of humor more than he realized. As they held each other, Deeks couldn't help himself and ran his thumb gently over her wedding ring. They had been called in the middle of the night, neither of them had time to remove their bands.

"I'm sorry." Kensi whispered after some time, her voice thick with emotion as she fought back tears.

"No, Kens. You have no reason to be sorry," Deeks responded, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Kensi shook her head as she took a deep breath, now aware of how much difficulty she was having breathing.

"We were so close. I fucked this all up, we should have gotten out so long ago. I'm sorry, Deeks. I'm so sorry." She gave up holding back the tears as her grip on Deeks' hand tightened. Deeks couldn't stop himself from crying either now.

Deeks thought back to a day, months ago now, one of the happiest, but most terrifying days of his life. It was another near miss that struck far too close. A witness-turned-suspect had opened fire on Kensi and Deeks during a routine interview. Deeks was quick to take down the shooter, but not quick enough to prevent Kensi from taking bullets to her shoulder and calf. Neither injury was fatal, but the amount of blood pooling around Kensi's body as she gasped in pain finally pushed Deeks over the edge he had been teetering on for far too long.

* * *

"_Marty Deeks?"_

_Deeks' head whipped up, seeing the doctor who had taken Kensi into surgery when they arrived at the hospital. The doctor was a gaunt woman with tired eyes who Deeks guessed was in her mid-to-late forties. Her hair was a dull, auburn red beginning to gray._

"_How is she?" Deeks asked as he shook the doctor's hand._

"_She's doing well, all things considered," The doctor responded. "We extracted the bullet that was lodged in her calf with no issue. The shoulder wound was a bit more precarious, due to the amount of blood she had lost and the tearing the bullet caused. But she'll be back in the field in no time."_

_The doctor watched as Deeks visibly relaxed and gave him a moment to collect himself before continuing._

"_Ms. Blye is awake, and I'm sure she would love company. When you're ready, I can take you back to see her,"_

"_I'm ready," he responded without hesitation._

_As they made the walk to her room, Deeks shot out a quick text to his teammates about the good news. He had spent too much time in his own head in the waiting room that he had never responded to the calls and texts that bombarded his phone. Instead, he had spent the time thinking about what could have been, all the close calls they had, and how they were just on borrowed time now. While trapped in his own head space, Deeks finally had his epiphany._

_He just couldn't do this anymore._

_LAPD, NCIS, living in fear that each day could be his last or even worse, living his life without Kensi. He was ready to get out, and he was ready to be honest about how suffocating his fear had become. While his revelation brought him a sense of relief, he feared how she would react. He didn't want to give an ultimatum and force her to quit what she loved. But Deeks didn't want to live in fear anymore._

"_Ms. Blye? Mr. Deeks is here for you,"_

_The doctor's voice pulled Deeks out of his thoughts as they entered Kensi's room. She laid in the bed, looking like a worn-down version of herself. Despite this, she smiled brightly as Deeks entered the room, and he couldn't help but smile back. The doctor quietly stepped away as Deeks sat himself next to Kensi's bedside._

"_How're you feeling?" He asked tentatively as he grasped Kensi's left hand._

"_Okay, all things considered." she responded, her voice hoarse. "The doctor said if things look good, I can be out of here in a few days."_

"_That's uh, that's good. Yeah, good. I mean, you'll have to stay home for a while to rest up, get better and all that. But uh, but Monty will love that," Deeks rambled, a shake loud in his voice. Suddenly, he felt anxious and scared, his previous thoughts had bubbled up again as he took her condition in. Kensi sensed this changed and squeezed his hand._

"_Deeks, talk to me." Kensi said quietly. While phrased as a demand, Deeks knew it was just an opening to talk, if he didn't want to he didn't have to._

"_It's okay, It's nothing. We can talk when you're back home," Deeks tried to deflect. He didn't want to bring this up here, but he couldn't fight back his emotions that were threatening to spill over all day. Suddenly his eyes were wet with tears begging to be shed. Kensi shook her head gently._

"_Baby, no, It's okay. Deeks," Kensi whispered as she brought her hand up to his face, cupping his cheek. "I'm right here, Deeks. I'm going to be okay," she whispered as he gently enveloped her into his embrace. She was sure he was having as hard of a time as she was, if not more. She rubbed her hand in slow circles on his back, hoping to bring him some calm as he cried into the crook of her neck._

_They continued to hold each other for a few minutes, Deeks releasing his pent-up fear on Kensi's shoulder while she held him, letting him release the feelings that took hold of his heart. Finally, Deeks shifted away so he could look at Kensi, his eyes red from crying._

"_Sorry, didn't mean to turn you into my personal snot rag," Deeks quipped. Kensi couldn't help but let out a laugh._

"_For you? Anytime." She smiled back. Deeks brought her hand back into his._

"_It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now, but I'll be here to listen whenever you're ready." She said honestly. She wanted him to be open with her. No more games, no more metaphors. Her words gave Deeks the encouragement he needed._

"_No uh, you're right. I think I should say this now." He took a deep breath, knowing what he was about to say would change everything._

"_I, um. I don't think… I can't do this anymore."_

_Kensi took a deep breath, waiting until he spoke again._

"_I love you so much Kensi, and you know I'd follow you anywhere. Hell, it feels like it's been us against the world since day one. But I can't… I can't live like this anymore. I wake up so scared that I'm gonna lose you that sometimes it's a struggle to breath. And today -"_

_Deeks' voice choked, and Kensi gave his hand a quick squeeze as she shed a few tears of her own, showing that she was there for him. He took another deep breath before continuing._

"_Today finally pushed me over the edge, you know? You went from never being shot in your career to almost bleeding out on the pavement. And I can't do this anymore. I can't charge fearlessly into battle by your side because I'm so scared of what could happen to you, to us"._

_As Deeks finished, he looked to Kensi, unsure what her reaction would be to his declaration. Despite her tears, her face was void of emotion, as if trapped in her own head. He was about to speak again, to say that he understood that she couldn't walk away, but instead she squeezed Deeks' hand tight._

"_Okay." was her response._

_Deeks raised his eyebrows._

"_Okay?" He echoed, unsure of what 'okay' meant._

"_Okay, as in, we're done. Done with NCIS, done with LAPD, all of it. We resign and find something new."_

_Deeks couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he reached over her bed and planted her face with several soft kisses by her declaration._

* * *

It was history after that.

After speaking to Hetty (whose return was as surprising and mysterious as her departure) about their decision, it was agreed that Kensi and Deeks would stay signed on with limited field work until new agents were hired and ready.

Hetty got to work and found two young junior agents to take over Kensi and Deeks' positions. Jack Wilhelm, a laid-back Midwesterner with shaggy brown hair and gentle eyes and Rudie Colton, a spitfire 80's punk lover who was constantly reprimanded for violating the already casual dress code. Despite the expected growing pains, the two new agents meshed well with OSP. They had been out on several field assignments and were nearly ready to take over. Hetty pulled Kensi and Deeks aside in the last week of September to tell them that by the end of October, the Office of Special Projects would be ready to move forward without their assistance.

The next day, OSP caught a high-profile case, and three weeks later the very same case resulted in Kensi and Deeks trapped under a fallen building. They had only one week left before their last day.

_Fate needs to find a better sense of humor._ Deeks thought to himself.

Deeks was forced out of his trip down memory lane as he heard the building groan around him. He was suddenly aware that he could hear people shouting. He remembered that they were on borrowed time, the cavalry had arrived a moment too late. Particles of debris began falling from above them, signaling that the building would collapse any minute, killing them both. Kensi took notice of this well.

"You need to get out before it collapses," Kensi said.

"Not a chance," Deeks responded, almost hurt that she would suggest such a thing.

"Deeks. You need to go, there is no reason for both of us to die here," Kensi responded, shaking her head furiously. She couldn't stand the thought of him dying with her if there was a chance he could survive.

"I'm not leaving you here. All in, right? Till death do us part and all that jazz?" Deeks choked out, cupping her face while still holding her hand.

"All in," she whispered back, not even bothering to hold back the tears anymore.

The building groaned loudly again, and began to fall around them. Deeks shifted himself as best he could to cover Kensi, and she responded by wrapping her free hand around his head, trying to be some sort of a shield.

"I love you!" Kensi cried above the sounds of the collapsing building.

"I love you too!" Deeks cried back, holding her tightly as they were plunged into the darkness.

_Together._


	2. When and where, I'll be there

_Wow, thank you guys for the reviews, follows, and favorites! I have had this typed since before the wedding episode, I've just been reviewing it and putting off posting until I felt ready. I was going to wait until after the 4th of July to post the second chapter, but I can't just leave the cliffhanger where it is! _

_Fair warning, this chapter is OC heavy. So if you're not a fan of that, I apologize._

* * *

The sound of punk music woke Marty Deeks from his slumber.

As he groggily opened his eyes, Deeks became aware that he was no longer trapped in the building's ruins, but resting peacefully a hospital room. His body felt heavy, faintly registering the ache being blocked by the pain medication. He looked to his left to find the source of the sound. Seth, the new punk-loving agent was perched at his bedside. His foot was tapping restlessly as he was on his phone, unaware of his surroundings as the music played quietly from its speakers. His right arm was wrapped in a white bandage from his wrist up to his elbow, and his fingers were covered in cuts.

"Turn that nasty shit off," Deeks croaked out. The junior agent nearly jumped out of his chair, dropping his phone.

"Jesus Christ, Deeks!" Rudie hissed, hand clutching his chest. "You scared the shit out of me." He reached down to grab his phone, stopping the music.

"What happened?" Deeks only had a vague awareness of why he was here.

"Well, first off, we need to get someone in here to make sure you're okay, then we can talk," Rudie replied coolly, pressing the call button near Deeks' bed.

"I'm fine, and I can talk now. Tell me what happened," Deeks responded testily. Rudie released a frustrated sigh, trying to keep calm.

"Well, what do you remember?" Rudie replied, scratching at his head. The doctor had warned him that Deeks could experience gaps in his memory.

"Um, we were chasing down arms dealers, I think? We breached an old warehouse..." Deeks scrunched his face, trying to organize the series of events in his head.

"...Then something happened, a bomb went off? Next thing I know Kensi and I are -" Deeks cut himself off, remembering the events after the explosion in vivid detail. "Where's Kensi?" He said frantically, starting to lurch himself out of bed.

"Easy, easy man!" Rudie stood up, putting his hand on Deeks' shoulder to stop him from getting up. "Kensi's okay, I think. Last I heard she has a concussion and some broken bones-"

"No. Thinking isn't good enough for me Rudie. I need to see her now." Deeks growled, still resisting Rudie's attempt to keep him down. "She was not 'okay' the last time I saw her, so forgive me if I want to see my wife and make sure she's actually okay."

"Deeks!" Rudie snapped. "I know. Believe me, I know. But you gotta work with me a little bit here. I promise you she's okay, her prognosis is good and she's gonna be fine. Jack is with her now, and he texted me saying that she's been awake for small bits of time for the past couple of hours. You gotta trust me Deeks, she's okay. And as soon as the doc says it's okay I promise we'll get you to her."

Deeks glared at Rudie, but saw the distressed look in the young agent's eyes and realized that this has been a far more traumatic event than he first thought. Deeks finally relented and settled himself back on the bed, making quick work to apologize. Thankfully, Rudie was even quicker in his forgiveness. Soon after, a couple of nurses came in to check his vitals and stats. After what felt like an eternity of poking and prodding, the nurses informed Deeks that his right leg had a hairline fracture, a severe sprained ankle, and several lacerations. Besides that, some bruised ribs and a minor concussion he was okay and would be out of the hospital in a couple days. Finally, the nurses excused themselves, giving Deeks and Rudie a chance to talk again.

"Callen and Sam?" Deeks questioned tiredly.

"They're okay. Callen's got a gnarly gash on his forearm, and Sam took a pretty hard knock to the noggin," Rudie responded, punctuated his remark with knocking his own head with his hand. "But they were able to get out before the building collapsed. They admitted Sam to be safe, Callen is with him now."

Deeks nodded. "You and Jack…?" He asked, taking in the junior agent's injuries. Rudie looked down at his hands, a somber look flashed in his eyes.

"Yeah, um, we're okay. When the bomb went off Jack and I kind of freaked out. We saw Callen dragging Sam out, but we didn't see you two. The whole building didn't collapse right away, so we went in trying to find you guys. Another chunk collapsed, and we almost went down with it. But then we saw this opening and we thought we saw you, so we just started digging."

Rudie shook his head, letting out a laugh that showed that the whole thing was the exact opposite of funny. "We found you guys huddled together under some rubble. You got lucky; you know. The whole building collapsed, but a girder had propped itself right above you guys, blocking anything that would have killed you."

"Well, you're pretty lucky that you're alive too." Deeks responded, surprised that the two agents did something so reckless. "You two could have gotten yourselves killed by going in there, and I'm surprised Hetty hasn't finished the job yet," Deeks smirked.

"Oh, trust me. Jack and I already got our asses chewed out," Rudie laughed, but Deeks could tell that Rudie wasn't telling the full story.

Rudie refrained from telling Deeks that the new duo had dug their way to the trapped agents, tearing their hands and arms apart in the process. If it weren't for their reckless action, Kensi and Deeks would have been likely crushed to death before EMTs found them. While Hetty tore strips off the two agents for not following protocol, she forgave their behavior sighting that their decision saved the trapped agents' lives.

"Hmm," Deeks hummed in response. He didn't want to think about what could have been. A quiet knock interrupted Deeks' thoughts. Or lack of thoughts, in that moment.

"Mr. Deeks?" the red-headed doctor asked as she walked in.

"Hey, doc. You're here to tell me I can see my bombshell of a wife right?" he responded, half-joking and half-begging. The tired woman couldn't help but release a soft chuckle.

"Well Mr. Deeks, you're in luck. I just finished checking up on Ms. Blye and she was vehemently asking for you the whole time. Despite my better judgment, I can arrange a wheelchair for you to see her for a brief visit."

"Yes, Please," Deeks replied eagerly as he began to sit himself up on the bed.

"Very good. Your friend can come with you, but I will be escorting you to her room personally. Hetty informed me that you are a bit of a troublemaker when left unsupervised, so don't make me regret this decision, Detective."

"I'm not that bad- wait, you know Hetty?" Deeks asked in disbelief.

"Of course I do, she and I met back in the Nineties on a couple of classified projects," the doctor chuckled to herself.

"Of course you do..." Deeks quietly mocked. A nurse came to drop off a wheelchair and helped Deeks into the chair. Rudie chatted endlessly with the doctor trying to pull details from hers and Hetty's newly discovered friendship. The trip to Kensi's room felt like an eternity, and Deeks was about to make a snide comment when they neared her room. He could hear Jack talking to Kensi, his voice just above a gentle murmur. Deeks found comfort that the junior agent had stayed by her side, just as Rudie stayed by his.

"Kensi? I have Marty here for you." The doctor said softly as she rolled Deeks into the room, Rudie waiting outside. Kensi tilted her head, and he could see the left side of her face was partly obscured by gauze, covering the large gash now sutured. Her right arm was in a cast, held tightly to her chest by a sling. She looked exhausted, dark bags hung under her eyes and the bruises seeming vibrant under the hospital's sterile light. Despite this, Deeks watched as Kensi's face lit up, a small but bright smile had grown across her face. Jack turned around as well, smiling as he saw Deeks up and moving.

The doctor wheeled Deeks close, and Kensi reached out her left hand to him. Deeks eagerly took it, and absorbed the fact that his wife was here, alive, after they were so sure that they were about to meet a far too cruel fate. After a beat, Jack slowly got out of his chair.

"I'll give you guys a moment," Jack said quietly, getting out of his chair to go outside by Rudie. Deeks couldn't help but notice that Jack's body bore similar injuries as Rudie's did and had dark circles under his eyes.

"Jack," Deeks said, before the young agent was out the door. "Thank you. For staying with her."

Jack turned and smiled. "Anytime. It's what we do, right?" he responded. He then followed behind Rudie and the doctor out of the room, closing the door behind them. Deeks was more confident than ever that OSP was in good hands. He shifted his gaze back to Kensi, whose tired eyes were locked onto his.

"Are you okay?" She croaked out.

"I'm okay, baby," he responded, lifting her hand up and pressing a soft kiss to it. "You?"

"Sore, cranky, hungry," Kensi whined. "Oh, and my head is killing me. Dr. Reimer said that it's gonna be a few days before I'm discharged."

_Reimer, that's right. That was the doctor's name_, Deeks thought to himself. He didn't have much time to dwell on this reminder as Kensi's face scrunched up, an ache working its way through her body. Deeks merely held her hand in comfort. "You know," Deeks replied, hoping to distract her from the pain. "She said something similar to me. Maybe Hetty can work her connections and we can share a room? Apparently, the two of them are friends from something classified, so I bet the doc is indebted to Hetty or something," Deeks pondered. "Ooh, maybe they were working on some super secret project, and Hetty's got blackmail a mile long on her," Deeks joked, and Kensi let out a breathy laugh in response, careful to not aggravate her injuries.

"Honestly, I hope so. Reimer's definitely got a spy thriller villain look to her," Kensi joked back. "I just, I don't want you any further away than you have to be right now," she spoke honestly, gripping Deeks' hand tightly. She hated that they couldn't be any closer to each other, but this was far better than what they thought their reality was going to be. The explosion, collapsing building, being trapped under the rubble would haunt the pair many weeks to come. Deeks could only hold her hand tighter, he didn't want to think about what could have been.

"I love you," Deeks choked out, his voice filled with relief. "I was really, really scared."

"I love you too, Deeks." Kensi responded, a tear rolling down her face. "I was scared too, I really thought it was too late. But we made it right? It's over. No more saving the world, no more bad guys trying to kill us?" She whispered quietly, hopeful.

It took Deeks a moment to process, but he came to the same realization. By the time they would be discharged, their time at NCIS would be over, and a new chapter in their lives would begin. So much time had been spent making sure to wrap up loose ends and training the new agents, Kensi and Deeks didn't even have a plan for when they were done.

"You're right. It's over," Deeks responded. Despite the uncertainty, he was happy. He didn't care about their next chapter not being charted out. Kensi was at his side, and he was by hers.

"And now, we move forward together," Kensi smiled, the fear of uncertainty no longer burdening her. Deeks couldn't help but smile back to her.

"Together." Deeks echoed, content.

* * *

_Aaaand ta-da! That's the end! O__riginally, the story was supposed to end where it does in Chapter One and end as a cliffhanger, but I just couldn't even allude to killing Densi. While I hope their exit from the show is a happy one, I personally don't want to see an end where only one survives. Together always in my opinion. But I hope you enjoyed this little tale!_


End file.
